In a world where everything can be arranged, straight from fake victories in cricket matches to fake mark sheets which take you in the limelight for an interim period, how can something as grave as love, be left behind!? We have managed to convince ourselves that love can be arranged. Which is not surprising, because before the dawn of Tinder and all those dating apps, existed a walking human version of a matchmaking app, the legendary panditjis. Most of us are aware of the panditjis or those great souls who used to match kundlis and bring matches and get two strangers hitched. What were, sorry, are they doing basically? Arranging a partner for the rest of your life? Arranging a company for you so that you can elude loneliness? Arranging compatibility? Arranging love?
But how can we even arrange love? Love needs time. A lot of it. Love needs patience, pragmatic and sometimes, illogical decisions. Love needs agreement, certainly not one which can be forced or is self-assumed, but a mutual one. Love needs two people to know that both of them have flaws but they are perfect together. Love needs understanding, not of the kundlis and horoscopes, but of each other’s brain and heart. If we keep aside these corny logics, it can still be proved technically, that love cannot be arranged. Love involves respect. No one can arrange or guarantee respect. Respect cannot be forced. It comes from one’s heart. And, all of us, especially today’s generation will agree to this because we live on the, “I will respect you no matter what your age is, only if you respect me” protocol.
Many would say that love can be arranged. And they would give the examples of our parents or grandparents, who had an arranged marriage and their love has survived for so long and is also strong. They are right. But, while talking about successful arrangements of love, why do we miss out on those “arrangements” where two people, despite completing more than 15 years together, still remain strangers? Many yesteryear couples remain estranged after so many years, just because their “arrangement” was not compatible enough, And no, time ain’t healing anything here. Because we can get used to someone but we cannot make our heart love someone. There’s a huge difference between the two.
So, love, according to me, cannot be arranged. Because when it comes to a romantic union, we are not just arranging love, but also hundred other things. And, those hundred other things or better say, aspects of human life, cannot be arranged. Simply because we are only humans and we cannot “arrange” everything. Not compatibility, not respect. Not love.