Relationship: A Choice, Not A Goal

You are probably single for a long time now and don’t really know why? Well, the answer is not to wait around for your prince charming to come aboard on a white horse and sweep you off your feet. Well, here I am going to hit you with a harsh reality (you have been alerted already): the idea that your prince is out there is just a fantasizing fairy tale that idea only is enough to ruin you and your relationships. You are preparing yourself up for a broken heart with that kind of unrealistic expectations, and instead, you need to be the boss of your own life (#girlboss reference). Make your relationship a choice, not a goal. As soon as you mentally and emotionally shift your thinking to that, you will find yourself to be a lot more confident, independent and upfront.

You need to take control of your life, instead of just being a piece in the game. You are the one who needs to make the rules and own the game girls. The first thing you need to make people recognize is that women are warriors of the world. We are the ones who want to create a different reality and possibility. And well, sitting around in damsel, waiting for your knight in shining armor to come to your rescues, is an invalidation of your true identity.

You are making yourself feel relatively undeserving by playing the passive role and who, in the world is going to come to rescue you if they don’t even notice you? The objective here is not to catch the attention of your potential soul mate. The most important foremost goal is to work on yourself. Once you have locked down your security and stability, everything you have wanted and dreamt of from the fairy tales will fall in place. The most messed up part about dating is that the more unsuccessful you are, the more you start blaming yourself. Alternatively, live your best life, and see who that attracts, instead of sitting around wondering what is wrong with you?

You have a capacity to create that which is beyond anything you have ever imagined, but you have to be willing to have that awareness about you. You are complete by yourself. It’s you who can create your life right now whether anybody else comes along or not. Always ask yourself, “If I were enough without a relationship, how would I create my life right now?”

Most things in life turn up when we least expect them to. The same theory works for relationships. You know those times when you are most desperate and can’t even get someone to notice you? Stop looking. Use that same energy on you and create a stronger self who knows its value.

You first need to be okay with yourself, before someone else is. Any connections you make will be much more authentic because they are being recognized by the real you and not your masked self. So basically, you do you and whoever admires that could be worth holding onto.

“Don’t be a queen waiting on a king. Be a queen busy with her kingdom, until her king arrives”

 

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