I have been watching you sit on the bench near my shop daily for an hour for like, the last one month. And I am sure that something is wrong.
You cry and you stare at nothingness. You constantly look at your wrists and try to feel something that your numb veins have just not been able to feel for a long time now. You sometimes sit for more than two hours and on those days I just want to sit beside you and give you a lily. Lilies make people smile or so my late wife firmly believed. From what I have observed for a month, it seems to me that you are exhausted.
Nothing is on track at this point in your life. You are a huge basket of laundry not done since months and it is not your fault. You should not blame yourself for feeling dejected and low. I understand you are done being sad and negative and dysfunctional and you desperately want to let go of so many things and move on but you are just not able to and you cannot understand why… You don’t know what is happening around you and you have no one else but yourself to blame.
But it is not your fault. Let me explain it this way. A flower never wants to be the symbol of sadness and hatred and all things negative. But no matter how much it polishes itself with the brightest of the colours and sweetest of fragrances, for some it turns to be nothing but a negative or pessimistic sign. And tell you what, it is not the flower’s fault. No flower wants to be at someone’s grave. No flower wants to be a writhed, flat, stale bookmark heaved with bitter memories and tears inside someone’s diary. No flower wants to be known for its thorns while it has tried so hard to cover the thorns with its leaves and petals. But the truth that needs to be acknowledged and realized here is that as much as the innocent flower wants it to be, its fate is not in its hands. Never in its hands. Its fate always lies in the hands of people around it. What they chose to do with the flower, makes up the flower’s lives. Not completely, but to a large extent. If a flower is lucky enough to meet the hands of an old man who lovingly presents it to his wife, then be it. If the flower is unlucky enough to meet the hands of an anxious lover who is going to pluck each petal mercilessly in the name of love then sadly, we have to let that be too.
Enough of the flower analogy. To brush out the confusion, let me explain it to you straightforwardly. If you meet nice people, you flourish and celebrate yourself. If you meet negative people, you mourn yourself. The beauty here is that a celebrated flower/being has to experience mourning and death one day. And the mourning flower will be celebrated and flourish one day. Both are miracles and both will definitely happen. That is how it is balanced. Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. But there is always those two words which comfort you and me, “vice versa”. You might not be very convinced by my above few lines and so I am going to tell you something…well flowery because that is what I do best. I sell flowers all day and I haven’t come across a single flower in my shop which was not bought, once by someone to mourn and another time by someone to celebrate. Every flower has two stories. So, you darling will also have two stories.
If you are mourning right now, you will soon be picked from my shop again for a celebration. Smile for that. And dear, if you are celebrating right now, you are going to mourn one day. And that is okay. Just don’t stop being a delicately frilly yet fierce flower!
Roses, and thorns too,
The florist from the corner shop.