An Open Letter To My 15-Year-Old Self

 

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Dear 15 year old me,
  You are beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I don’t care if you are the only one who is not waist 24, or does not wear makeup. You are still beautiful. It doesn’t make you weird or abnormal. It just makes you, you. And 4 years from now, when you are finally in my shoes, you would know how important it is to be, you.

Don’t believe his lies. Just because he gets you ice cream and gives you kisses in front of your friends, he is not the boy you deserve. He is not a man, not because he is too young but because he is not loyal, honest or respectful to you. He does not keep you around for your personality or laughter and humor; he keeps you around for your body. Don’t let him have it. You deserve better.

It’s okay to be single. It’s actually great to be single. You are 15 years old; you don’t need to find the guy you are going to marry when you are 26. You need to find yourself first. You need to know you are not defined by your grades. You are not defined by your clothes, or what phone you own. You are defined by how kind you are to others and to yourself. He will tell you who you are. Listen. Find yourself first and tell her who you are. Don’t let him do it. Find yourself before you ever think to look for a man.

It’s okay to fail. It just means that you are trying. You are still capable of succeeding at billion other things. Mathematics is not everything. Calm down. It’s okay to give a retest. Nobody is going to hold it against you. So even you shouldn’t. Study for it, and ace it. Your grades are important, but they are not everything. Do your best. Try your hardest, but don’t let it run and ruin your life. Going out for a lunch with your girlfriends is worth getting a B in history class. You can work a little more and get A+ on the next assignment. You can do it.

You don’t need to be perfect. No one except perfection from you, no matter how much pressure you feel, they just want you to be happy and not perfect. And it they do, they don’t really care about you, so forget them. Right now, you will think it will make people love you and want to be friends with you, but you are lying to yourself. They are not your friends. Not the real ones. Me, your older self, was that girl. Please just don’t.

Stay innocent. The world out here is pretty scary. Be inside your bubble as long as you can. Sex, Drugs, Alcohol is not for you, my princess. Trust me. You will have your share of night outs and drunk stories to talk about but now is not the time. There are things you do not know and do not understand, and there is a pretty good reason why. They are heart- wrenching. Right now, you are as pure and beautiful as snow; don’t let the world stain you.

Read. It makes you happy, I know and deep down even you do. Don’t let others stop you because reading doesn’t make you a geek, it makes you smarter and brains is a new beauty (or will be when you are where I am right now). Being smart makes you happy. I know you like knowing everything. I know it takes you to places you have always dreamt of. So read it all. From Danielle Steel to Enid Blyton, read it all.

Your parents don’t hate you. Stop being so tough for them. They are the only ones who are going to be through all thick and thin. They only want the best for you. They have always wanted the best. They are giving you more than they can afford. They are protecting you from this ugly world and love you with everything they have. Be good to them. Don’t argue. They hate raising their voice at you. They hate it when they hear you sob and you don’t let them in. They only want the best for their little one. Tell them you love them, it makes their day.

It is not the end of the world. I know it may seem like it is, but it isn’t. You are going great places- don’t give up! The experiences you have, and the people you are going to meet, it is priceless. Take it all in. Enjoy it. “It ‘s over before you know it, so enjoy it while you can” is no lie. One day you are 15, and the next you are graduating high school. It’s a crazy rollercoaster. But it’s absolutely worth living for.

Love life. Laugh at every joke you hear no matter how lame it may be. Buy 2 ice creams. Take billions of pictures. Yell the lyrics even if you got them all wrong. Fall and get up again. Don’t let anything stop you. Be kind and beautiful. Don’t let anyone change your beautiful heart. You are everything perfect. Believe in yourself.

With love,
Your future self

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