Dear Baby Brother,
Of all the childhood memories I have, my favourite is the day you came in our lives. I remember tugging on Papa’s trouser and asking him desperately to hand you to me. I remember holding you for the first time and feeling an emotion that I had never encountered before. Little did I know that that emotion is going to be reserved forever in my heart for you, only you. I remember proudly telling all my friends and relatives and even the housemaid that I have a younger brother. As if you were my trophy.
With you, it always felt like we were a team. It always felt like you are my safety net and I am yours. I remember once when we were little kids, I had a fight with few children and I was very upset. I sat in my room all day and did not go out to play because I felt I would not have anyone to play with. I felt no one is going to play with me or talk to me. I sat in the balcony with my dolls, peeking below to see what the kids were playing. I remember you asking me in your innocent voice why I was not going out to play. I told you because they are not going to play with me and I will be alone. The next thing that you did remains the most precious moment in my heart and I would not exchange it for even the biggest of my dream. You picked up your toy bat and marched out of the front door. On asking where you are going and what are you going to do, you said: “I am going to beat those people if they are not going to play with you”. You became my superhero from that very moment. We grew up and I became an angry teenager and you became a confused kid who had no idea why his elder sister was becoming a monster. Then tables turned and I became an exasperated adult and you became an angry teenager and it was my turn to be in the confused-why-my-brother-is-becoming-a-monster shoes. But we sailed past all of that.
Years went by, I remember coming home one day after getting rejected for a job. I sat in the balcony with my CV folder, peeking below to see the world going on with its business and its own rhythm while I felt time had stopped for me. I remember you asking me in your cracked, post-teen voice what happened. I told you that I got rejected for a job. This time, you did not pick up your weapons of toy bats or boxing gloves. You sat with me in the balcony and watched the sunset. As the sun went down, I remember you telling me to forget about the day and move on. I nodded and continued looking at the sky. You got up and told me to come in. I said I will, in a few minutes. I thought you had gone in. But when I turned towards the door after a brief five minutes, I saw you still standing there, silently waiting for me. It felt like you were protecting me from the day that had been so bad to me.
I had always wanted to be your protector, your mentor, your superhero, your elder sister who you will literally worship and look up to. Guess I had never thought that you will end up becoming a person who I will look up to and want to be like. The day I had held you in my hands, I had decided I will be your rock and I will never ever be a weakling in front of you because then you won’t look up to me and “worship” me. But you changed everything when you made me realise that I can be a vulnerable and a non-superhero person in front of you. And ever since I had that realisation, I have shamelessly been able to be a wreck in front of you. You made me realise that you are my best friend and I am yours too.
P.S. I am still going to fight for the TV remote.
Not-so-super heroic sister.
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