It’s Not Love…

They say women are emotionally vulnerable ones. Well, I don’t deny the fact but they have their strong reasons to be vulnerable.

Tessa is a girl with great thoughts and simple ambitions. She never cared for emotions and gave least look for relationships. Eventually, she never dated anyone while her friends started dating and experienced one night stands at 13. Tessa had never kissed anyone; of course, no one had ever kissed her. Strange, but when people kiss it’s never really clear who is kissing and who is receiving it. It all happens like magic once the lips meet. But this was all before she met him.

boy and girl

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Just like her paintings, her thoughts too were ambiguous. Strong enough but not always clear. It was on one of those long weekdays when not many people go shopping, leave alone shopping in a not-so-famous painting store. Tessa was lost in sorting and rearranging her old paintings that she almost did not hear the shop doorbell.

“Would you mind showing me the place? I’m new here”, she heard a voice.

In front of her stood a man grinning. His skin color is hard to predict as he is fully covered with tattoos & piercings. Underneath all the ink and shit, his handsomeness was visible. It sounds awesome to say he was amazingly captivating and it wouldn’t be a lie.

For a fact, Tessa doesn’t like tattoos. For her, it’s a torture on the skin. Like to several people, they did not matter to her. But tattoos speak just as loud as any human voice, sometimes even louder. They carry the meanings we’ve attached to them. Overlooking all the silly Christmas tree like decoration on his body she noticed another small tattoo on his left hand. Damn! Why was she even scanning every detail of him? She tried hard to look away but could hardly turn her eyes off it.

“Who are you?” She blurted out feigning confusion as though she doesn’t want him to read her thoughts in her tone.

“You know who I am Tessa,” he said with a sly grin.

Was he really him or had she started hallucinating because of regular sleepless nights?

“Si…Simon?” she stammered.

“There you are. It’s hard to forget me” he winked with a husky voice.

“How did you get here?” She thought she screamed but was barely audible.

Leaning over the table he whispered, “The scent of your body is my route map.”

His voice alone made her shiver and those deep eyes saw far too much into her.

He continued “I’ve come to get back what I lost”

Tessa and Simon met during a summer camp. Being a loner, Simon is the only friend she made there. They dated for eight months until one day Simon’s secret relationship with a busty bartender was revealed. Tessa thanked her stars and took the flight back home after a dirty fight with Simon.

A quick glance around and she suddenly realized that she was lost in the thoughts and Simon was still standing there shifting from one foot to another. The realization made her flinch.

“I want to take you out with me,” he said in a light emotionless tone.

“How rude of you! You are supposed to ask me if I’d come with you” she snapped on his face. Oops, she lost her balance and had to grip his shirt firmly in order to steady herself. His pupils widened as he grabbed her by shoulders.

“Thank you” she uttered meekly “but I have plans tonight” she lied. Plans? She absolutely had no plans for that night, in fact, any night for that matter.

“Oh,” he stepped back. Turning back to leave, he gave Tessa another glance. Holy Heavens! His eyes…His eyes make her crave to go with him, be with him and satisfy him. He cheated on her not once but several times, she knows it for sure. Yet his eyes called her not in forgiveness but in a blissful arrogance. She is falling for him again. She knew it is not love. It can never be love.

“Alright, I will come. But just for an hour” she said already anticipating what was going on his mind.

After two hours of leisure dinner, they walked down the street and found an aisle trees. The street was like an abandoned island with no trace of human life. Simon looked at Tessa and loosened her hair. She let out a warm breath. “I prefer a closed place” she looked around.

They began walking in search of a place for them. They’ve shaken hands a million times before. But this was the first time she felt his real warmth. Her inner voice kept warning “Darkness excites, but the sunshine might bring you shame. Don’t do anything you will regret in the morning.” Exhausted by the constant fight within herself she kicked and put her conscience in a temporary tomb. After another long walk, they found a cheap and cozy inn.

Checking in, he waited not for a minute. He grasped the collar of his T-shirt, pulled his head through first, then his arms. He pounced onto her quickly. She had no time to think. She had a million reasons to stop this and run away, but she evaded all those and remained still. Just like in the tales, here too the rain is pouring. It’s not clear what is making her do this if it’s the rain, or his smell or the whole “love is in air night”. It wasn’t love, if anything; it was a maddening exhilarating addiction and inner rage.

Her eyes shut immediately as he pushed her to the wall. She offered her tongue eagerly the moment he forced his mouth onto hers. For a moment she paused. She blushed, not for the physical contact but at her own hurried arousal. Shame cut through her confused mind and involuntarily she nipped that unclear feeling in the bud, wriggling in delight as his cold fingers lingered over the waist making way to down there. He greedily gazed at her breasts. Seriously what’s it with men and breasts? A fat bonus wouldn’t bring the same amount of joy to their faces. She felt dizzy and weak. Perhaps the intensity of his cologne made her feel that way. Why, why does he have to smell so delicious and so male?

Waking up in the morning, she put on her clothes and looked for Simon.She wanted to hear how Simon felt. She wanted to see if what she felt for him was love. She wanted to clear her mind from the constant confusion. But all she could see in the room apart from the brown ugly curtains in the room was a folded paper and cologne mounted on it. “Thanks for the night. Take my Cologne spray as a tip for your service ‘cz last night you bloody sniffed my body like a dog.”

Those moments as beautiful as they are, evil after they have gone… kept echoing in her ears.

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